ONE LINERS

If you love someone set them free. If
they come back, set them on fire
~ George Carlin ~

They fuck you up, your mum & dad.
They may not mean to but they do.
They fill up with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
~ Philip Larkin ~

A male gynecologist is like an auto
mechanic who never owned a car
~ Carrie Snow ~

When I told my friends I was going to
be a comedian, they laughed at me
~ Carrot Top ~

A computer once beat me at chess, but
it was no match for me at kick boxing
~ Emo Phillips ~

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them
whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
~ Stephen Wright ~

I worry that the person who thought up
Muzak may be thinking up something else
~ Lily Tomlin ~